Paging Winston Smith

Press Office
U.S. Ministry of Truth
Dec. 6, 2010

WASHINGTON -- Commissariat of Repeated Airport Perversions (CRAP) Reichsfuhrer Janet Napolitano today announced the expansion of the Commissariat's national “If You See it Twitch, Be A Snitch” campaign to hundreds of ChinaMart stores across the country—launching a new partnership between CRAP and ChinaMart to help distribute brown shirts and Orwellian lingo to the American public.

“Government intrusion starts with hometown snitchery, and each of us plays a critical role in turning against our friends and neighbors for the benefit of the government,” said the owlish, big-assed, Reichsfuhrer Napolitano. “I applaud ChinaMart for joining the ‘If You See it Twitch, Be a Snitch’ campaign. This partnership will help millions of government-dependent Obamacare recipients across the nation identify and report indicators of unacceptable exercises of free-thinking, liberty, and Constitutional rights.”

The “If You See it Twitch, Be a Snitch” campaign—originally implemented by Bloomberggrad's Metropolitan Transportation Authority and funded, in part, by $13 million from CRAP’s Transit Security Grant Program—is a simple and effective  mass mind-control exercise for the proles and key ChinaMart drones to identify and report unacceptable exercises of free-thinking, liberty, and Constitutional rights.

More than 230 ChinaMart stores nationwide launched the “If You See it Twitch, Be a Snitch” campaign today, with a total of 588 ChinaMart stores in 27 states joining in the coming weeks. A short video message, available here, will play at select checkout locations to remind buyers of cheap crud to snitch on their friends and neighbors to the Commissariat of Repeated Airport Perversions.

Over the past five months, CRAP has worked with its federal gestapo, state stormtroopers, local paramilitary black-pajama thugs, and private sector collaborators, as well as the Ministry of Fairness, to expand the “If You See it Twitch, Be a Snitch” campaign and Nationwide GROPE (Get Raunchy On PeoplE) Initiative to communes throughout the country—including the recent state-wide expansions of the “If You See it Twitch, Be a Snitch” campaign across Frankensota and New Lautenberg. Partners include the Mall of China, the American Hope & Change Association, ScAmtrak, FEMA camps, state penitentiaries, the department of motor vehicles, and state and local "fusion" centers across the country.

In the coming months, CRAP will continue to expand the “If You See it Twitch, Be a Snitch” campaign nationally with public re-education materials and visits from black-pajama clad thugs designed to help America’s businesses, communities and citizens keep on snitching for Reichsfuhrer Napolitano.

The actual press release is here.