Thursday, September 23, 2010

Yes on Initiative 1069

Ballot Initiative Number 1069, for consideration by the voters of the State of Washington:

Section 2, RCW 1.20.080 is amended to read as follows:
The Seal of the State of Washington shall be a seal encircled with the words:  Committed to sucking the lifeblood out of each and every taxpayer," with the vignette of a tapeworm dressed in a three piece suit attached to the lower intestine of the taxpayer as a central figure.

I don't know if this initiative will actually be on the ballot, but if it is I will be voting for it.  I just wish that the patriot sponsoring the initiative, Mr. James E. Vaughn, would have added that the head of the tapeworm be of the current governor of the State of Washington.  Our current governor, Christine Gregoire, has all the parasitic qualities of a tapeworm.  Since it is unlikely that her face would adorn the tapeworm anytime soon, I guess the reverse will have to do.
That's all for now.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Retarded Politician of the Week: Lisa Murkowski

Note to Lisa:  The State of Alaska is NOT owned by the Murkowski family.

Retarded Politician of the Week honors go to soon-not-to-be Senator Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska.  The twit thinks that the senate seat her daddy gave to her belongs to her forever and ever and ever.  I was born and raised in Alaska and consider myself to be a real Alaskan, rather than the Cheechakos who moved in later when the state was booming.  Thus, I feel qualified to pass judgment on Ms. Murkowski.

When Lisa's daddy, Frank, was the sitting senator from Alaska, he decided to run for governor.  This was back in 2002.  When Frank was elected governor, his new job included filling the unexpired term of his senate seat.  After looking far and wide across the vast stretches of tundra and mountain ranges, Frank could find only one qualified person among the 600,000 plus residents of Alaska:  his own daughter, Lisa.  People howled at the blatant nepotism, but Frank was generally well-liked at the time and things settled down.

In 2004, the Murkowski name was still somewhat respected in Alaska, and Lisa was elected to a full senate term of her own.

In 2006, the people had figured out what a careerist, cronyist, nepotist politician Frank really was and replaced him in the Republican primary with Sarah Palin, who had run as a reform candidate.  Sarah delivered the reform she promised, going after corrupt politicians and bureaucrats in both parties. 

Fast-forward to 2010.  Nepotist Frank had been taken down by the Palin machine.  Lisa has become a career D.C. politician, out of touch with her constituents.  Charismatic candidate Joe Miller challenges her in the primary, promising reform.  Reformist Sarah backs Joe.  Lisa loses primary.

Lisa does not like being spurned by her subjects.  First she tries to hijack the Libertarian Party by negotiating with the Libertarian candidate to allow her the Libertarian party ballot spot.  She is turned down.

What to do?  What to do?  It appears that the only option left is to conclude that the electorate of her state is a bunch of idiots who have made a terrible mistake in voting for a real conservative instead of dear Lisa.  So she pulls out the Joe Lieberman playbook and decides to run a write-in campaign as an independent.

(Note:  The Republican party should have never helped Joe Lieberman against crazy dipshit Ned Lamont in 2006.  If the Republicans had any prinicples they would have exploited the split in the liberal electorate caused by Lieberman/Lamont to elect a Republican)

Lisa, Princess of Murkowskiland, please pack up your crap and just go home.  The people have spoken, and they don't want you anymore.  Sorry, but this is true.  Don't insult the great people of the great State of Alaska by forcing yourself upon them with your write-in campaign.  Don't insult Republicans and consevatives by helped another Democrat to be elected.  Just keep your chin up and go home.

I know that Princess Lisa will not listen to this.  Instead, feeling that she is the rightful heir to the senate throne her daddy left to her, she will work hard to maintain the divine Murkowski righ to that seat.  When all she accomplishes is to elect a companion for Mark Begich to join the Obama gay circle-jerk with, she will join her father, Frank, in the political and actual wilderness of Alaska.

After reading Princess Lisa's tale, I am sure you will agree that she is divinely qualified to be Retarded Politician of the Week.

Monday, September 13, 2010

EyeWitless News: Lawyer Smokes Pages from Koran and Bible

An Australian lawyer smoked pages from both the Koran and the Bible.  Story here.  He reportedly wanted to find out which burns best.  The story doesn't reveal the answer, but I'd bet he found that one of them tasted like an unfiltered camel.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Remember 9/11

Never forget what the followers of the moon god did in the name of their religion on September 11, 2001.  Those bastards don't even qualify to be called animals.

Religion of Peace, my ass. 

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Incinerating Book of Moon God to Cause Man-Made Disasters

By now we all know about the plans of Dove World Outreach Center to burn a Koran on September 11, 2010 and all of the controversy surrounding it.  The Moon God followers, including the one in the White House and his minion in charge of the Afghanistan war, are going bananas.  Jeez, I had been brainwashed by the liberals to believe that burning flags and holy books and pissing on Jesus was my Constitutional right.  Now they are telling me that burning the Mohammedan holy book is a terrible think that should be forbidden.  If I have to put up with idiots desecrating my beliefs, the idiots should have to put up with desecration of theirs and that of their strange Mohammedan bedfellows.

I just finished reading the Effa Bee Eye Jacksonville Division Intelligence Bulletin regarding the Koran burning.  The Effa Bee Eye describes Dove as "a New Testament Church with a controversial past".  Why in the hell does this matter?  Dove, its leaders, and its parishioners have a Constitutional right to burn Korans every day of the week if they want to.  It is interesting that the Effa Bee Eye uses the label "New Testament" rather than say that Dove is full of Christians.   Next, they will be a "man-made, non-man observing congregational institution".

The Effa Bee Eye is worried about the Dove World Outreach Center event because it has "high confidence that, as with past incidents perceived as acts of desecration against Islam, extremist actors will continue to threaten or attempt to harm the leaders, organizers, or attendees (of) the event".  The Effa Bee Eye identifies two such threats, derived from open source intelligence (means they looked it up on the internet):  Two online threats posted on known extremist Web site “al-Faloja”.  One threat exposes a desire by the poster to detonate himself in the Dove church.  The other, by Abu Aulayman al-Nasir, threatens to kill "tens of you in place of every letter in the book of Allah".

Instead of fretting over one church's exercise of its Constitutional right of free expression, why doesn't the Effa Bee Eye track down the persons making those threats?  I have not seen or heard of any news coverage indicating the Effa Bee Eye is investigating any of these threats.  In my mind, the threats of a bunch of inflamed Moon God worshippers is less of a worry than the government's negative attitude toward a Christian church exercising its right to freedom of expression, and the message sent to Mohammedans that their threats of violence against non-Mohammedans is warranted, expected, and tolerated.

Instead of playing the worrywart over the threatened actions of insane jihadists and slandering a church exercising its Constitutional rights, the Effa Bee Eye should be a defender of freedom.  The Effa Bee Eye should turn its predilection towards disproportionate use of force against Americans onto those who threaten the freedoms of Americans.  Then the jihadists might begin to understand that we will not submit to their assault on our God-given rights.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

"I Believe in Miracles..."

...and unicorns named Barack.  Or so the stock market investors seem to be saying today, if you believe the following story:

Stocks Rise Ahead of Obama Speech.

Obama is apparently promising $180,000,000,000.00 in tax cuts and infrastructure spending.  Whoo Hoo!

Will this offset the additional taxes in Obamacare and the rise in taxes when Obama refuses to extend the "Bush tax cuts"?  Will this result in no net increase in taxes?  Will this cost businesses substantial increases in accounting and compliance costs?  Has anyone with a brain analyzed this proposal before applauding it?

Regarding infrastructure spending, has anyone checked to see what the state contribution is to these projects?  Often federal grants have a required state contribution.  Where is this money going to come from when many states are furloughing employees, cutting back hours of service, and cannot afford to pay unemployment compensation costs?  Is this a giveaway to the unions?

Remember Clinton's policing grants back in the 1990's?  These declined over time to where the locality was left with the full salary, benefits, and equipment costs of these new officers, who were more than likely members of the police union.  Once hired, hard to fire.

Seems like the idiots on Wall Street will jump at anything thrown to them, and will believe that unicorns named Barack can perform miracles. 

I guess they might as well believe in miracles, as the unicorn has yet to perform.

Friday, September 3, 2010

EyeWitless News: Revrun' Jesse meets Karma

Thugs have given Jesse Jackson's ride the same treatment that Ol' Revrun' Jesse has given to racial harmony in this country:  his Cadillac Escalade was stolen and stripped.

Read it here.

Nice to see that God appreciates irony.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Pringles as Survival Food?

My camping trip a few weeks ago gave me the chance to use and evaluate a few newer pieces of equipment, which I still need to write about.  However, I think I made a discovery (at least for me) about a possible survival comfort food.  For those of you who hate Pringles potato crisps, you can stop reading now.

In September 2008 I went on a family camping trip.  As I usually do, I packed some comfort foods to snack on.  Part of the snack supply was two cans of Pringles.  One regular chips, the other cheddar cheese flavor.

I have been taking my time cleaning out the camper after the last trip, and last weekend I discovered the two cans of Pringles in a cabinet behind a bunch of plastic plates and cups we really don't use.  After sitting in the camper through two Eastern Washington winters and two summers, I had my doubts that they would be edible.  The expiration dates were in November 2009, but I don't pay a lot of attention to these.  I was more concerned about the extremes in weather and the possibility of the oils turning rancid and moisture working its way into the containers.

Not to fear.  I have opened both cans of Pringles and both taste just fine.  I have been snacking on the regular chips for a couple of days now and I am having the cheese flavor with my sandwich for lunch.

If Pringles can survive two years of the weather extremes out in the camper, I wonder how long they will last inside the house, where the temperature never gets above 75 degrees.  Rotated on a first in, first out basis, it appears that Pringles would make a good survival comfort food.