I would actually rather have the real Lurch as Secretary of State. Lurch and Kerry are like Jekyll and Hyde, with Lurch as Dr. Jekyll. To the best of my knowledge, Lurch never:
--Lied about his military service;
--Protested against his country while the country was at war;
--Was for military action before being against it;
--Has been portrayed as a waffle;
--Voted for Obamacare;
--Voted to disarm Americans;
--Associated with Jane Fonda;
--Spoke French at home; or
--Cozied up to America's enemies.
Just sayin'.
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